I'm on to something here. There's Relaxing and Tensing. Of the Mind as well as of the Body. And THAT'S ALL THERE IS.

What happened was that I was awakened with a difficult phone call today. It was from a small Agent who had booked an upcoming gig with me. He called to say that the gig was off - Good Morning, Alison He said that the company that hired him decided to have Artists in 8 stores instead of 9 stores - And my store was the one that was bumped. Disappointed, but I was calm about it. I reminded my Agent that I'd need a $50 kill-fee. But that disappointment stayed with me.

And then my mind started stressing on social fears and personal disappointments (disappointments? that's a mild word that we can use to dampen devastations). Yet I have a good life. Successful Career Magnificent Family, Comfortable Home..... So why was I grappling with so many insecurities this morning???

I figured it out. Our minds get Stuck, like a muscle gets stuck. Tension - can't loosen it. My mind had 'tensed' from being flung into a disappointment first thing upon waking. And I realized that Mental tension works the same as Physical tension. It's like tensing your forehead involuntarily - if you can't relax your forehead, you'll have an annoying headache. And if you keep it tensed for a very long time, it can become overwhelming - making it difficult to focus on other people, work, fun.... Maybe even spreading to other physical tensions - eyes, neck......

So I relaxed my mind. I reminded myself that things are okay for me - even Great! I ate my nourishing breakfast, talked to a friend about all the good things we have planned, chose some nice clothes for the day..... And now I'm safe and warm here up in the office. Looking out the window while typing on my computer. The existence of Computers! And Super Markets. High-Quality Art Materials.... Now I'm sooooooo happy for the special people who are currently in my life. And even happy for past relationships that (aghk) ended - because they were so wonderful when I had them. My mind is relaxing. I'm happy and comfortable. Even with this morning's cancellation, I have so many gigs that I'm overwhelmed in getting ready for them all.

Just like if a person might want to relax (ie massage, rest, healers) if his back tightens up, he would also want to relax (ie friends, lovers, meditation) if his mind tightens up - gets stuck in negativity, stuck in tension. Relaxation is lovely. Tension is dark.

So, physical or mental, STRESS AND RELAXATION IS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE. And we need stress in order to feel the relaxation. We need them both because that is Life. Without either one, we would die.

Existence Is because of Both Tension And Relaxation.

Breathe out. AND in. They're Both needed to stay alive. Yin And Yang. Weak And Strong. Tense And Relax.

Oh - This was such a Fun Party. Set up like a Slumber Party, but the girls weren't sleeping here. They went home after dancing around comfortably and having so much fun with the Caricatures. Really confident and accepting kids.

It was a pleasure to spend time with these honestly optimistic people. I wished these girls the Best of Everything, and I sincerely think that my wishes come through into the Party atmosphere - Aaah, it can be such a good world.

Fuzzy photos. Just to show you what I'm dealing with, here are some of the 'better' photos - frustrating - bcause I remember some of these Caricatures looking great!

I think what happens is that I don't want to take the time to 'become a photographer'. So I just grab my phone, flash it in their direction, and press the button a few times. I'm wondering if it might be better to take the extra moment to wait until I know the camera is still, and then take less photos.

Just like drawing pictures or doing anything else, it might not really take that much longer to do it right.

And here is the Bride and Groom that I drew at that Wedding in the Country (He had been dressed more formally during the Ceremony, but he had changed before I drew him):

We were all having fun at the Celebrations. Pictures were flying. Afterwards, I received a phone-call - "Could I possibly make a Studio piece from the Wedding Caricature?" "Okay - Can you send me the original to work from?"

Sort of a tracing, sort of a redrawing, I really wanted to send this as the finished picture. I think it's beautiful:

I wouldn't have had time to 2nd guess my picture at a Party, but I have time to Think in the Studio. Having met these people, I tried to figure out what they Wanted in the Studio Caricature. So I continued drawing - I even added glitter to the Barn and the Flowers:

Apparently, I made the right decision. Because the Bride called to tell me how happy she was with it. And to tell me how everyone enjoyed showing their pictures around.

One is not better than the other - They're just Different. I'd say that the first one was really captured the moment. The second one is Zhe-Ahrt. And the third one is Happy and Understandable. I just love seeing what pictures come out of me.