I'm on to something here. There's Relaxing and Tensing. Of the Mind as well as of the Body. And THAT'S ALL THERE IS.

What happened was that I was awakened with a difficult phone call today. It was from a small Agent who had booked an upcoming gig with me. He called to say that the gig was off - Good Morning, Alison He said that the company that hired him decided to have Artists in 8 stores instead of 9 stores - And my store was the one that was bumped. Disappointed, but I was calm about it. I reminded my Agent that I'd need a $50 kill-fee. But that disappointment stayed with me.

And then my mind started stressing on social fears and personal disappointments (disappointments? that's a mild word that we can use to dampen devastations). Yet I have a good life. Successful Career Magnificent Family, Comfortable Home..... So why was I grappling with so many insecurities this morning???

I figured it out. Our minds get Stuck, like a muscle gets stuck. Tension - can't loosen it. My mind had 'tensed' from being flung into a disappointment first thing upon waking. And I realized that Mental tension works the same as Physical tension. It's like tensing your forehead involuntarily - if you can't relax your forehead, you'll have an annoying headache. And if you keep it tensed for a very long time, it can become overwhelming - making it difficult to focus on other people, work, fun.... Maybe even spreading to other physical tensions - eyes, neck......

So I relaxed my mind. I reminded myself that things are okay for me - even Great! I ate my nourishing breakfast, talked to a friend about all the good things we have planned, chose some nice clothes for the day..... And now I'm safe and warm here up in the office. Looking out the window while typing on my computer. The existence of Computers! And Super Markets. High-Quality Art Materials.... Now I'm sooooooo happy for the special people who are currently in my life. And even happy for past relationships that (aghk) ended - because they were so wonderful when I had them. My mind is relaxing. I'm happy and comfortable. Even with this morning's cancellation, I have so many gigs that I'm overwhelmed in getting ready for them all.

Just like if a person might want to relax (ie massage, rest, healers) if his back tightens up, he would also want to relax (ie friends, lovers, meditation) if his mind tightens up - gets stuck in negativity, stuck in tension. Relaxation is lovely. Tension is dark.

So, physical or mental, STRESS AND RELAXATION IS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE. And we need stress in order to feel the relaxation. We need them both because that is Life. Without either one, we would die.

Existence Is because of Both Tension And Relaxation.

Breathe out. AND in. They're Both needed to stay alive. Yin And Yang. Weak And Strong. Tense And Relax.