One of this Weekend's Clients requested that I draw the girls 'Pretty'. Black and White. On Smaller Paper than I usually use.

Didn't feel unreasonable. I could do that. But I felt like I would feel more comfortable at the Party if I try it out at home first.

So using Reference Photos that I found online, I drew these on Small 8 1/2 x 11 Paper. The only 'mistake' was that I picked up a Blue Colorstick at first ~ Feels Black and White to me. But I think it will make a difference for my Client. So I made sure to have plenty of Black Color Sticks available

This Party was a pleasant Surprise. For me. Comfortable, Self-assured Children (mostly 12-year-old Girls) ~ who actually weren't afraid to have Fun. This is what Childhood should be. I feel like I can't say enough about it. I was drawing Caricatures at this Party of Wonderful, UNINHIBITED Children having simple healthy fun. Confident enough to be able to laugh at themselves.

Of course we know that all these Children are Beautiful. How can you be anything But beautiful at this age? And I was able to see their inner beautify shine though also. A Community Spirit of Love, Joy, Acceptance, and Accepted.

Focusing on my upcoming job for drawing Fashion Sketches at a Sweet 16 Party, I felt like I should revisit standard Fashion Sketches. Because people are already trained as to what an 'artistic' Fashion Sketch should be. My Client is probably not wanting me to draw the way I'm affected by the fashion. She is probably expecting a conformity to the dramatic long-body long-leg standard that is considered a Fashion Sketch.

Then I ate breakfast. Outside. Looking at the tree across the street. Again. But this time, I felt like Really looking at it. To find out What's interesting about it? What feels good/calm to me? And I started seeing it sort of like puzzle pieces. Yes I've frequently painted negative shapes around tree parts, sort of like the puzzle pieces I'm referring to today. (That's an Artist's exercise.)...... But this time, I was able to enjoy the Solid Branches that made up that still/static 'puzzle'..... and I also started wondering about the shape/feel of the small end-pieces, but that doesn't add to what I'm currently grappling with.

What it is that's on my mind is about Conformity. I guess we have to conform to what a Client wants when s/he hires us. But is s/he really hiring an Artist if she wants us to draw what's expected? Or is s/he just hiring a 'Draw-er', someone who knows how to imitate the Styles of visual representation that have been created before us?

That's referring to 'Artists' who draw standard '8-head' long bodies that look like Fashion Sketches as well as 'Artists' who represent the way light and shadow describes the form of a tree (a face, a bowl, a fruit......) the way light and colors affect our moods..... the 'how to draw' and 'how to paint' that beginning artists usually aim for. I'm feeling like that stuff that can be taught (and learned) is not really Art. BECAUSE CONFORMING TO WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN is not deep enough to satisfy a person who is interested in UNDERSTANDING VISUAL CONSCIOUSNESS. Understanding our Existence. What Consciousness is.

What is sold as Artwork is usually just a Job.

Then I practiced some 'Fashion Sketch' Samples. I am planning on doing a good job for the woman who hired me to draw Fashion Sketches at her daughter's Party.

Follow Up on March 4, 2019:

I was talking with my Friend ~ about choosing to Focus on 'the Sounds of Silence' even when Louder Talk is happening.

I realized that we can also see 'the Sounds of Silence' ~ well.... not the SOUNDS of Silence, but the 'Sights of Blindness'. Some people experienced something like this while Driving. Very Dangerous. It's when a person's mind wanders, and she misses her exit, or just realizes that she's been Driving for blocks (miles?) without being aware of it.

Of course, we must turn our attention to Focus onto the Physical World when we're driving. But I am looking forward to applying that ability to my (almost) Daily Meditation. To be able to Choose what Sights I want to Focus on ~ with my Eyes Open. Just like I can choose to hear 'the Sounds of Silence' when I'm taking a Peaceful Break, I can also choose to see 'the Sights of Blindness'. With Open Eyes.

Some people who unfortunately have Vision Problems, can't see past 'Floaters' Inside their eyes ~ so they see inside their own bodies instead of seeing the World beyond their eyes. That's like when I focus inside my body during Meditation ~ noticing things like my Breathing or my Posture.

I was trying to come up with a way to See beyond the Physical World. To see beyond the positive and negative shapes. To see beyond the way Light falls on objects. Things. And I'm wondering if this is perhaps the path.

To sit with my Eyes Open, but not See what's in front of me (Only for a few Chosen Minutes Please!) To instead Watch my Thoughts. Perhaps if I can Focus My Vision away from the Sights of the World, by letting my mind wander the way I would Not want it to wander while driving, even though my Eyes be open..... Perhaps then I would be able to See the Thought so I can Drop the Thought ~ leaving me in a position to See what is not Seen.

The Next Day:

I did it! I felt satisfied with my experience of 'The Sights of Blindness' today.......

Sitting outside ~ the snow was so bright that I couldn't even lift my eyes to see enjoy the dark sky. I realized that I was trying to take things too far yesterday. I realized that 'The Sounds of Silence; that we enjoy...the metal tag clinking in the wind, the water pouring out of the drainpipe, the traffic in the distance, the car that just went by, the sound of chewing this carrot, the sound of swallowing it, the sound of my breathing, another car went by... those sounds are actually In this Physical world. And it makes me feel peaceful to slow down and focus on that cacophony of sounds. That are here all the time, but we're usually too busy to focus on them.

I applied That to my new idea 'The Visions of Blindness'. Simple Light and Dark and Patterns. Just Not focusing on them as the Things they represent (only for during this Meditation, of course). The way we do as Artists, but with No intention of making them come together to represent a Thing.

I'll try to describe something here. Things like the pattern of the dark grass patches popping through the snow, the texture of the dash-dots of grass-blades all over the lawn, the pattern of the shadow shapes affecting the footprints, the calmness of the neutral tone of the cement, the reflections on the cars, the transparent areas where I could see through the windows of the cars... But NOT SEEING THEM AS WHAT CAUSES THEM. NOT SEEING THEM FOR WHAT THEY REVEAL TO US...oooh ~ I love the dark soil in the fallow garden that has tiny pebbles... NOT SEEING WHAT THESE THINGS TELL US ABOUT OUR VISUAL WORLD, but seeing them solely as what they Are. Never labeling them. ...... Just like I don't sit there labeling each sound that I hear when I am listening to the 'Sounds of Silence'. THE CLUE TO PEACE IS SIMPLY SEPARATION FROM KNOWLEDGE.

I call it A MENTAL VACATION.

Awwww.... Did you ever have a parent sit down with a crying child at your Party? A frightened child who has not yet learned that Fun sometimes involves loud music and lots of people?

We all did our best to perk up this child. It would work for a minute and then we'd have to come up with something else. I call that 'Party Training'. I notice that the Children who are just a year or so older than this one already know how to get into the Party Groove. If they've been previously introduced to it by some Caring people. Sometimes the parents, sometimes the entertainers, and sometimes I've even seen slightly older children taking a little one under their wing.

But what's an Artist to draw? Now? So cute.....This is what I came up with this time. Fast